Thursday, December 13, 2012

Debbie Downer

I try to stay very positive on this blog. But GEEZ. Sometimes a girl has got to vent.

My kids are making me crazy. I feel like they are all going through phases. REALLY hard phases.

We recently moved Quinn into Hendrix's room. We were having to put Quinn to sleep in our bed every night because either Veda wasn't sleeping good enough yet for Quinn to walk in and go to sleep, or Quinn was too worried about waking Veda up so she would refuse to go in there. So we would put her on our bed then move her when I came to bed. It worked, but was kinda annoying. So we put Q and X together and we were hopeful that our problems were solved. Not the case. Hendrix has never ever ever gotten up out of his bed until I come and get him. It's been awesome. But now that he shares a room with Quinn who gets up all the time - to pee - to complain about her brother making too much noise etc, Hendrix now gets up. He gets up in the middle of the night, or 4:30 in the morning just to tell me he can't sleep. Of course the reasonable answer is to just bring him back to bed. But that usually ends up with him screaming his head off which wakes up either one sister or both. Not only that- but bedtime has only gotten worse. Hendrix doesn't want to go to sleep. He whines and cries or screams until we move Quinn into our bed so she can get some sleep. Then Hendrix continues to freak out for a while. I feel like I'm having to go through the 'cry it out' phase all over again. Then my morning routine is often interrupted by a little boy who just gets up while I'm trying to get out the door for a run or quickly take a shower before school craziness begins. So what do I do? Did we make the wrong choice moving quinn into his room? Probably. Should we move her back? I have no idea. I feel like I've always had a good handle on my kids sleep. I'm slightly controlling with that part of their lives, and I'm having a hard time controlling it now. Help.

Not only are we having sleep issues, but behavioral ones too. And maybe these are all stemming from lack of sleep? But the WHINING. I want to pull my hair out. It started with Quinn who can whine like the best of them. About everything. Every time she tattles on her brother, every time she can't find something, every time she wants something, every time things aren't going 100% her way. She lays it on thick. She is often in a sad mood after school- and yesterday I noticed on my way home that she was happy and cheerful with her friends (I drive a few kids home) then as soon as they were out of the car she got sad and whiney again. Is this normal? Is she just a girl and growing out of her little girl sweetness? I KNOW I have been lucky with Quinn. She is honestly inherently GOOD. But lately there's been a switch. And unfortunately it has been rubbing off on Hendrix who has started to whine like crazy too.

And my sweet little Veda who hasn't bit anyone for a few months has started biting again.

So what am I doing wrong, my friends?


Emily said...

Oh, Amber, you are not doing a thing wrong, kids are kids, and like us, they go through weird freak outs in their lives! All my kids share a room and it's hard to keep them in their rooms sometimes. I recommend getting little flashlights that they can only have while they are in bed. I know it sounds silly, but put the ABC's around in their room and let them flash their lights on the letters. (if not ABC's, then maybe different pictures etc...) I do this with the little girls and they love it. Just make sure to hold onto those flashlights, in our house, they are worse than the socks disapearing! Good luck!

Lindsey said...

I don't really have any advice for you - I just always like posts like this that are "real" and help me know that other people deal with things like whining and no sleep too. I am terrified to put my boys together in the same room - and for the same reasons. I've always been able to "control" that aspect. My friend posted about this system to curb the whining: Maybe it will give you some ideas??

Cami and Juan said...

Maybe this change in routine, with having Quinn in his room, is just an adjustment period for Hendrix and he'll get used to it all again once he realizes it's the new routine? We are going through a nap thing too with our girls and I have noticed that consistency is the only thing that has made it better. I just do the same thing every day, I won't give in to moving Maya out if Amelia wakes her up, I just make them deal. And s l o w l y it has gotten better and Amelia doesn't wake Maya as much, either that or Maya has gotten used to her and just sleeps through it. I do send Amelia in with a toy and a flashlight and she plays for 15 min or so before going to bed. All that said, I feel for you. Sleep is the worst to deal with! Because you just can't force them to give into it. I've also heard people use reward system like if he doesn't get out of his bed all night until you come get him in the morning, he can watch his favorite show in the morning, or his choice for breakfast. Anything that will motivate him. Good luck!

kelsey said...

Ugh. WHINING. I can't stand it. After telling Norah to stop whining all the time and it taking no effect, I finally started saying, "I don't respond to little girls who whine." or "When your voice is calm like mine, then I will talk to you." It worked! She doesn't whine near as much anymore. Now if only I could work on everything else!

Also, sleeping. It's hard! And I'm with you, it's something I am somewhat anal about, so I hate when things don't go well in that department. We are currently ALSO putting Norah down in our room, then transferring her over to the "shared" room. It sucks. And I realize it's coming to an abrupt end as this new baby comes, but it makes for our peaceful 6:30/7 bedtime, and I can't give that up until the very last minute. I'm sure I'll be pulling my hair out about it soon.

Another thing, you do nothing wrong. My kids would be lucky to have you as their mom. lol. But really. Come over for a couple of days, and you'll be running back home to your quiet children! I think we're all worn thin sometimes. I TRY to enjoy those small moments, but sometimes all I see are the hard times when I'm frustrated and yelling and no one is listening. All I can say is, thank goodness for the sweet times when they're peaceful and snuggling! Oh yeah, and a lot of prayer.

Marcia & Dan said...

It was nice to read the advice from your friends. It's been too long ago. What does your sleep issues book say? I hope they will be Angelically perfect when I watch them.

Jan said...

Oh man.....from one sleep Nazi to another....this bites! With my boys, when we moved here, I remember having to sit in their room until they fell asleep for a week or they wouldn't talk and keep eachother up. They went to bed at the same time and would just play. So, I sat in there and just kept telling them to shoosh. Then, I left the room, but if I had to come back in, to tell them to go to bed, they got in trouble. I would take away the computer for Josh and Mike, usually, him giving me one of his stuffed animals did it. Eventually, they didn't want the punishment anymore and they just went to sleep. But it took time. Which is so hard! I feel for you! Good Luck! You are the best mom ever and don't ever feel are just kids! And unfortunately, they whine. I always tell my kids, and yes, I still have to tell them at 11 and 9, that when they can talk to me without whining, I will listen.

Anonymous said...

Here are a few ideas that work here. Mind you things aren't perfect here either.

MUSIC helps calm my kids down a ton. They typically go to bed with church hymns playing.

While my mom was here while I was gone she started a whining jar . . . when someone whine/complain they have to pay the jar. It seems to work with Chase and Corbyn.

A reward the next morning if they stay in bed and don't holler out for you. They are reminded before bed that they need to go potty before bed and can't get up! :)

Good Luck . . . . being a mom is hard. I've had many conversations crying in my closet talking to JAN!! :) You're doing AWESOME!!!

How much longer until you get a vacation??