So often, either consciously or unconsciously, we want something from others, especially when we have done something for them-- "I cleaned the bathroom, she should clean the kitchen." Or "I took care of her child last week, she should offer this week." It's almost as though we keep score of our own good deeds rather than remembering that giving is it's own reward. When you do something nice for someone, just to do it, you'll notice (if you're quiet enough inside yourself) a beautiful feeling of ease and peace. Just as vigorous exercise releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good physically, your acts of loving-kindness release the emotional equivalent. You don't need something in return or even a 'thank you.' In fact, you don't even need to let the person know what you have done."
The crazy thing, is that my mom and i were just talking about this this morning. I think i was complaining about how I've done some things lately that other people haven't even acknowledged. Then I remembered the chapter of this book-- and thought "oh yeah... I should have done the deed because I knew it was the right thing to do, not because I needed a thank you." I have a long way to go.
My mom mentioned her grandma-- how she was so giving and thoughtful and did lots of kind things for people. I can only hope that someday people remember me for that quality.
My sister-in-law Sarah, is a good example of this too. She is constantly watching my kids. Almost every time I see her she offers to have them over. I'm sure it's not because I return the favor-- because I'm awful at offering to watch other people's kids. (i think because my own kids overwhelm me... the thought of more running around makes me want to pee my pants). Sarah NEVER asks for anything in return. And of course, I hope that I can somehow repay her kindness, she is a great example of how to give without wanting anything in return or making me feel indebted to her.
I hope that I can work on this-- I think it's an awesome quality to have.
My dad emailed me this picture last night. It's a picture of my mom. Crazy, huh? Quinn looks so much like her.
4 comments:
OK,OK, I'll try to be nice. Thanks for the reminder. I don't know why as humans we can't easily conquer giving unselfishly without wanting the warm fuzzy thank yous. I will try to be more like Nanny. She was always knitting mittens and crocheting pot holders and giving them away. I think that was my Kindergarten photo. Cool huh? (No wrinkles).
This is good stuff! Keep it coming...or maybe I should just go read the book! :)
Quinn totally looks like your mom--- crazy!
You are an example of this for me, so don't even think you aren't selfless. I REALLY need to work on it. I just have a hard time offering things, only because I don't like to talk to people. I should probably get over that. . .
We are the same about watching other peoples' kids too. How do they do it? That makes a lot of children. . . ha.
that is a very nice quote to keep in mind!
and o my gosh! if that picture was in color i probably wouldn't have known the difference! :) EXACTLY like quinn!!!
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