Help.
Quinn's 6 week music class started 5 weeks ago.
1st class: it took her 28 of the 30 minute class to decide to participate. But the song she participated in was the dinosaur song... you know "what do you think of that??" which she obviously likes.
2nd class: she SCREAMED during the first 3 songs but then had fun and sang and danced
3rd class: She loved every minute
4th class: we found out that her usual teacher had broken her arm and would be out for the rest of the session... she sat on the floor the whole class and wouldn't sing or dance or go get props/instruments.
The 5th class (today) she wouldn't get up off the floor again so I told her if she didn't get up and participate we were leaving. We left.
The great things about the class: I KNOW she likes it. She asks me to sing the songs all week and looks forward to going. I think it's good for her social skills. It teaches her music, following directions, how to move her body.
The bad things about the class: she hates crouds. and by crouds I mean a room full of 12 other toddlers and their mom's. She loves to go get the props/instruments, but only after all the other kids are done and sitting down again. Quinn is HORRIBLY shy around lots of people
I felt like I needed to follow through and leave, after I warned her that if she didn't stand up and do the song that we were leaving. But was that really the right thing to do? It's not like this free class at the library is life or death, and it's SUPPOSED to be fun. And the truth of the matter is, I WANT her to like it. It's free, it's close, it's not during nap time. Let's face it, I live in the boonies... NOTHING else we do is close. So... what do I do? I can't MAKE her participate. I wish. Should I continue going? After the 3rd class I had decided that I would sign her up for the next session. Should I not?? Am I forcing her to do something I shouldn't? Or is it a worthwhile thing to TRY to do every week? Maybe she'll like her next teacher better... Anyway.... my mom friends out there. Tell me what to do :)
9 comments:
Don't turn it into a battle, but if she still gets excited about going, keep it up and let her do her own thing while she's there. Even if it doesn't look like she's getting as much out of it as you want her to, she probably IS learning how to overcome her fears slowly. And kids change their minds really quick at this age. She may take to the next class quickly or be slow to warm up again. But you're right about it being good for her social skills and such, and she's absorbing more than you realize. The fact that she has positive experiences from it is a great sign. I say keep going. It'll pay off.
I went through the same thing with Joseph. There were times he would go all out, and others he would pout in the corner. It's so hard when you have to follow thru with a consequence, but it's important to show that we mean it.
I would keep taking her to help socializing, but definitely not force her to go, don't want her to associate it with a bad experience. ahhh... the fine lines of parenting. Good luck!
I think you definitely made the right choice to follow through with your "threat". Otherwise she'll think you're bluffing when it comes to more important things.
I also think as long as its free you should just keep taking her. I have really great memories of doing things like that, even though at the time it was stressful and I didn't want to be there. You're creating memories for her!
But whatever you decide, she's going to turn out just fine :)
Wow! I'm glad I don't have to make decsions like that yet!! That's a tough one! Are there any other community classes that are being offered that her friends are taking that she could sign up for? Maybe if she knew the other kids that were there (aside from just knowoing them in the class) she would feel more comfotable to have fun? Or talk some of her friend's parents into going to this one with you! It is a lot easier to have fun when you go places where you know the people there....
I think if you know that she really likes the class, you should keep going. It's good for her to be surrounded by it, even if she's not participating. Maybe she just needs more time to warm up. Maybe you could go to the library slightly early and read a book or two in or near the area where the class is, just to get her comfortable in the space before class starts. Also, maybe you could do some of the dances at home to get practice the movements as well as the songs. Even if she's not participating fully, she's probably still benefiting from the class.
I giggled a little while reading this. We go to a music play group every week and the exact same thing happens. My kids don't participate put when we get home they want to sing all of the songs.
Here's my theory. Go every week, but don't make her participate, but you should so she can see it's fun and not scary. If see cries let her. It's very important to help her get used to crowds now.
Aiden my 3 year old is having a hard time with crowds because I didn't insist on crowds early. Remember you know she likes group because she is singing the songs when you get home. It does get better with time if you attend every week. Good Luck.
I would sign up, go, and let her just watch or do nothing if she wants. She's only two. Maybe she just needs to observe others a while to understand normal class interaction and participation. Sometimes even 4 year olds aren't ready for anything but home and Mom.
I agree with your mom. Not that I'm an expert, but that is what sounds right to me. I was one of the four year olds who just needed home and mom. That's why I ended up going to kindergarten twice, I just wasn't ready to be away from my mommy! (I think I turned out okay despite being painfully shy as a child!)
You'll be able to read her. She's obviously getting something out of it, even if it doesn't seem like it while you're there.
Good luck!!!
I think you should keep going. All the other ideas are great. You might even participate even if she sits and watches - if she doesn't get upset. It's amazing what kids soak in when you think they aren't paying attention. Keep being that great mom that you are! Love, Grandma Keller
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